Day 40: The Relationship Principles of Jesus

I usually pick one or two statements that make an impression on me for the day and talk about them.  Not today, the whole day's reading is powerful.  It is a summation of the whole book.  Today is the day for you if you struggled reading daily or didn't read at all.  This sums everything up.  The most powerful part for me was when he talked about what the world would be like if we applied the relationship principles of Jesus.  It was a beautiful picture, one that can be a reality in each of our individual spheres of influence.

Day 39: Forget the ideal, Go for the Real

If I could embrace this truth, this day could be the most life changing day in the 40 days of love.  I spend a lot of my time in the ideal.  I think about the ideal job, ideal church, ideal abf, ideal life, not ideal wife (she's already perfect).  Obviously, I am disappointed just about everyday when I don't have the perfect bible time,where God comes alive followed by meaningful prayer where God speaks volumes to me everyday and then Holly and I share how God's working in our lives over breakfast, while the kids soak in everything we are saying.

God meets me right in the middle of this life of mine and loves me anyway.  I need to accept God's love and redirect it through all the distractions and imperfect relationships at work, home, and church, recognizing that ideal/perfect left the day Adam and Eve were thrwon out of the garden.

Day 38: Love your Enemies

Does the love I exhibit in my life look any different than the love of a non-believer?  I love my wife, so does he (not my wife, he better not love my wife).  I love my kids, so does he.  I love my friends, so does he.  The bible says what makes me different is I should love my enemies.  Do I really?  I don't want to love my enemies.  That's going too far isn't it? If you wrong me, its hard to love you.  It is only through total dependence and connection with Jesus that I even have a chance of loving my enemies.  I have to recognize his tremendous love for me, even when I wrong Him, and let His love for me flow through me to my enemies.

Powerful statement in the book: "The Golden Rule must be applied not only when the relationships are going right, but also when they are going wrong."

Day 37: Love is Sacrificial

"The world needs to see sacrificial love."

What can I do to show sacrificial love?

I decided to do some things at work and home that could show sacrificial love.  At work, I vacuumed the floor, windexed the cases, and cleaned the front bathroom.  At home, I carried on the bathroom theme and cleaned our master bathroom and helped with dinner.  What can you do today or tomorrow to show sacrificial love?

Day 34 - 36

Blogged verbally at the beach with guys from class, sorry I didn't post, but had a great time hanging out with some brothers in Christ, watching basketball, and ordering from the senior citizen menu.

Day 33: How Humility Handles Our Relationship with God

How could I possibly have a do-it-yourself attitude with my relationship with God when I don't have a do-it-yourself attitude when it comes to all those manly projects Holly wants me to tackle around the house?  I find myself easily slipping into "I can handle this God." or Bible study (check), prayer (check), serve at church (check).  Okay God bless me.  The author's message today is very simple:  Trust God to meet your needs.

Day 32: how humility handles our tendency to compare

I'm having to type this post on my phone so I'm sure there will be
typos, so please forgive. The humble life of being married to an
educator who is always working and will not let me borrow the
computer. (hope you noticed my ability to work the word "humble" into
that last sentence, since that's what the focus is this week.)
"Greatness is a matter of humbly living the life God gave u to live.".
Convicting/tough statement for me. I'm obviously not great and I'm
also left with a lot of questions. How do I know I'm living the life
god wants me to live? I could just be living the life I am because
I'm lazy or selfish or afraid to take risks or afraid to step out of
my comfort zone or even afraid to dream big or pray big. I guess I
need to humbly live the life God has called me to live, not the life
the world or my selfishness wants me to live. Consequently, I have to
know God to know his plan for me and I also have to learn the art of
contentment and not compare his plan for me with his plan for say Andy
Stanley.

Prayer: God wherever u put me, I'm going to do something that makes a
difference for u in the world today.

Day 31: How Humility Handles Our Need to be Noticed

If anybody would struggle with humility, it would have to be a professional athlete.  Lots of people look up to them and plenty of pros think they are untouchable and the world revolves around them.  Sports Illustrated did a feature article on Albert Pujols.  He is one of the best baseball players in the major leagues right now.  If you want to know what humility looks like, read this quote from him below:

 

"You know how I want people to remember me?"..."I don't want to be remembered as the best baseball player ever.  I want to be remembered as a great guy who loved the Lord, loved to serve the community and who gave back.  That's the guy I want to be remembered as when I'm done wearing this uniform.  That's from the bottom of my heart.

Day 30: How Humility Handles Ambition

How did you do with the greatness quiz today?  Did you exalt yourself or did you humble yourself? Or as the author put it today, did you demand your own way today or did you depend on God?

God, help me to be like a child in my dependence on You.  My children expect certain things from me without even daring to do it on their own.  Again, my desire is to trust and depend on you the way they do on me.  I pray that You will help me to daily take the first step and declare "not my will, but yours."  Thanks you for the example of Jesus and his ultimate example of humility. Amen

Day 29: The Desire to be Great

To me the most powerful series of statements in this days readings were: "Anyone wanting to be the greatest must be the least - the servant of all" (Mark 9:35)  WHen you learn how to plug this truth into your life, it will result in the greatest relationships possible - and the greatest life possible.

The greatest life possible is tied to serving others...that's straight from Jesus's mouth.  Who have you served today? How will you serve tomorrow?  What attitude do you have when you serve?

Day 28 Seeing the Truth about Yourself

I have sinned. I am Forgiven.

Two simple statements that we learned as kids in Sunday school, or if you didn't go to Sunday school, you learned as soon as you became a Christian.  Why do I/we have such a hard time recognizing the power of those statements and the far-reaching implications for all our lives?  Corrie ten Boom's story from yesterday's reading was an amazing example of forgiveness.  How she described her simple prayer and her ultimate trust and leaning on God to help her through the situation was powerful.  I have to continuously lean on God and trust that He is BIG enough to forgive me, and also through His power, I can be big enough to forgive others and not be judgmental.

Day 26: Understanding God's Mercy

Who do you identify with in this story in Luke 7:36-50?  Are you more like Simon or the Woman?  I guess we spend times where we act a lot like Simon.  Our world teaches us to outperform or out do our coworkers so we can get noticed, always comparing ourselves to others.  It is tough not to compare, not to judge.  Why is it so hard for me to be grateful like the woman?  I take it all for granted.  My mind is too small to grasp the extent of God's mercy.  God, help me acknowledge the vastness of your grace, mercy, and forgiveness as it relates to my relationship with You.

Day 25 - Mercy

One of the first things I think about when I think of mercy is the Karate Kid movies.  Do you remember in Karate Kid when the rival instructor taught his students to show no mercy and to always go for the kill? Not relevant here, but a great memory when miyagi sun beat up the rival instructor and had an opportunity to show him no mercy, but decided to take the higher road and showed him mercy.

A couple of things I underlined:

1)  The author's definition of mercy: mercy is removing the speck from your brother's or sister's eye.  Great definition of mercy, really puts a great perspective on mercy for me.

2)  Mercy is not optional.   Jesus knows that those who cannot find it in them to forgive haven't truly understood what it means to be forgiven.  

3)  A flat out refusal to forgive is a sure indication of what is going on in a person's heart.

4) Jesus offered merciful forgiveness even while being ridiculed, rejected, and nailed to a cross.  Powerful.

It is hard for me to wrap my arms around how much Jesus has forgiven me.

Day 24

A couple of comments from the book that really struck me:
*You see in other people the very problems that are most common I'm
your own life.
Wow, that hit pretty hard. It is going to make me do a better job of
looking real hard in the mirror the next time I notice a speck in
someone else's eye.

*Integrity means you make up your mind in advance to do the right thing.

What are the areas of your life that you need to decide in advance
about? This is my short list:
1) How I keep my witness and attitude in check in competitive
environments.
2) I know family is more important than hobbies, but which am I going
to give my time to?
3) Gossip, I need to eliminate it entirely. It shows up the most in
my work environment.
4) For me to not be afraid to speak the truth in love.
I know need to tell someone that can hold me accountable in each of
those areas. I also need to discuss it with God. Why don't you do
the same?

Day 23

When we broke up into groups Sunday in ABF, Phil brought a front page story in the Times News up as the ultimate example of forgiveness.  If you haven't heard about it, or just heard some of it, here is the story that was on 60 minutes.  It is well worth your time: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4852659n

If you don't have time for the video, here is the story as related by the Times News: http://www.thetimesnews.com/news/sunday_23199___article.html/burlington_case.html

I would love to hear your comments

One Person Assignment- week 4

(From the 40 days of love material)

Forgiveness is often a two-way street- we need to ask for it and offer it.  The following questions can be hard to ask, but they are critical to your spiritual and emotional health.  Right now, ask yourself, "Who do I need to ask to forgive me?" "Who do I need to forgive?"

 Pinpoint the forgiveness issue.  Do you feel anxiety, anger, or other negative emotions towards anyone?  Could this be a cue that you need to release that person and work on forgiveness issues in your own life?

 Turn to God in prayer about this person.  If you've prayed about it before and it's still bothering you, don't give up.  You may use the following prayer as a model, inserting the person's name:

 Dear Lord,

I may not forget, but I'm choosing to forgive _____________.

I realize trust may take time to rebuild, but I choose to hold no grudges.  Help me to let go of bitterness or anger in my heart.  Give me your grace that I may relinquish my "right" to get even.  Help me understand that you have forgiven me and that I can forgive _______________ through you.  I trust in your power to do that.

Now Lord, I ask you to bless _________________ .  In particular, I ask you to bless them with these things: _____________________.

God, please replace my hurt with your healing.  Replace my pain with your peace.  Replace my loss with your love.  May the past truly be the past.  In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Day 21: Troubleshooting Communication

When criticized, Jesus gave a clear confident response.  How do you react when criticized?  I tend to want to strike back and defend myself.

When honestly doubted, Jesus offered proof.  I usually get offended when people doubt me.

When ridiculed Jesus was silent.  How do you respond when you are ridiculed?

When backed into a corner, Jesus turned on the light.  When I'm backed into a corner, sometimes I want to come out and fight.

When rejected, Jesus went elsewhere.  What do you do when you are rejected?

Obviously, I have a lot to learn from how Jesus handled broken communication.

Day 19 - God is in the Conversation

Something that struck me was the comment, "More important than the way you talk to someone is the way you talk to God about them(167)."  Am I spending regular time talking to God about the important people in my life?  Wife, Kids, co-workers, my Brookwood family?

Also, I became aware of the importance of persistence in my prayer life.  Sometimes I think God gets tired of me telling Him the same thing over and over again, but Holladay makes it clear that the bible says I should ask with persistence.  Although, there is a difference between persistence and memorized repetition. 

I am also called to pray with confidence.  "The better you know the will of God revealed in the bible, the more confidently you can pray(172)."  I have to know God to know His will.  The only way I can know God is to read the Bible and talk with Him.  It makes sense that my confidence in prayer is tied very closely to the time I put into my relationship with God

Day 18

Speak the Truth in Love, also our theme for last Sunday's ABF discussion. (Here is Rick Warren's plan for doing this if necessary)

 

1.  Choose the person: Ask yourself, "Who in my life needs to hear affirming truth?" Or ask,"Who do I need to have an honest conversation with, and can I risk approaching them?"

 

2.  Affirm the person:  Make a list of the positive qualities of the person you feel God is laying on your heart.

 

3.  Plan your presentation.  Plan when you'll say it, what you'll say, and how you'll say it.  Are you planning to approach an unbeliever?  Instead of just saying, "I don't like what you are doing," find a way to bring the grace, mercy, and love of Jesus into the conversation.

 

4.  Prepare your heart: Check your motives.  Ensure that they are aligned with God's loving heart.

 

5.  Forgive.  Have you forgiven the person you are thinking of confronting?

 

6.  Get support:  Have a conversation with a trusted friend or group member to discuss your plan.  You will need someone praying with you and for you in the process.

I've done steps 1-5.  I just need to do step 6 and then go for it.  Good luck and as today's reading encourages, don't put it off any longer.

Day 17

Andy Stanley did a sermon series and has a book on this topic called "It came from within."  If your tongue causes you to stumble as much as mine does, you ought to google the sermon series and listen to it.  I've listened to it several times.  One of his main premises is that we have a filter that we have learned to use over the years that keeps us from saying things that we might regret.  Occasionally something slips out and we say, "I can't believe I just said that, that's not really me talking."  When actually the little slips of the tongue reveal more about who we really are then the everyday person we present ourselves to be.  If you are like me and your mouth gets you into trouble, you don't have a tongue/mouth problem.  You have a heart problem.  Your words will not improve until you deal with your heart.

Day 16: The Foundation is Trust

Life would be so much simpler if our "yes" meant "yes" and our "no", "no".  Let's build trust this week with this easy task of meaning "yes" when we say it.

Day 15: Communication

"No one can tame the tongue" (James 3:8).  This verse ought to be my life verse because of the numbers of times I've said something too quickly and later regretted it.  My prayer is that I will build people up with my words, not tear them down, but its just so easy to let the sarcasm fly.  This is the area that I struggle with the most.  I look forward to this week's reading.

Day 14 - Choose to Accept, Choose to Sacrifice

A few questions I need to ask myself after reading today:

Are all my friends just like me or different?

When is the last time I made a sacrifice for:

 God? My church? My wife? My kids?

Am I patient?

Would people describe me as kind?

How am I doing fighting selfishness?

Day 13: Fellowship & Forgiveness

Fellowship....Is that something that is easy for you, maybe even a gift?  Not for me, but I am slowly starting to recognize its importance, especially if I want to be a Christ follower.  Reach out and befriend others, we are representing Christ.

Forgiveness.  Stop and ask yourself if there is anybody you need to forgive.  It is a sobering thought to think that God will not forgive us if we don't forgive others.  

Day 12

First...what was the first thing that came to your mind? Was it a relationship gone wrong as they said or was it something else? For me, I couldn't help but focus on the priorities. We talk about priorities a lot in relationships, but how often do we give our heart priority? Sure you may be thinking that it is easier for women to do this, but many times I put things in priority out of "wants" instead of a heart priority and action. If the action is not in place...the wants I mentioned before may be linked to a heart priority stalled. To think...no actions and our emotions fester and become destructive rather than instructive. More often than not my emotions fester...just think if I take my heart seriously and act radically then all the "solo acting debuts" (hence my festering inactive emotions) will become a production in itself.   Emily M.

Day 11: Feelings are Important!

I am one who has never showed much emotion.  It is probably the way I was raised, nobody in my family shows much emotion.  Today's chapter was a good reminder that emotion is okay.  Jesus felt emotion and showed emotion, he just wasn't controlled by it.
My prayer: God, help me to recognize and not deny my emotions.  God, help me to correctly express my emotions in a way that glorifies you in all that I do.  Amen

Day 10: The Power of New

My prayer after today's reading:  God, there are lots of old relationships and old routine in my life.  I get up, eat the same bowl of cereal, follow the same routine every morning, all day, every day.  I'm comfortable with the old, but I see the importance of "new."  I don't want to live life in a rut.  God, I pray that you inject a new love into my old.  I pray that your fresh, new love will become a part of my routine, and that I will look at my old relationships in a new, fresh way.

God, I also live a tremendous portion of my life with the "I think I can" mentality.  I put too much importance on me.  God, You know I'm selfish.  I pray that through your power, I can move to the "I know I can't, but I know God can" mentality where I walk thru life focusing on Jesus and Jesus alone. Amen.

Day 9: The Power of Jesus' Command

The author gave a great picture of "nevertheless love."  Remember what that is: honestly telling God your feelings, and then saying, "nevertheless not my will but yours God."  When is the last time you expressed "nevertheless love?"  Do something this week that you don't "feel" like doing, but you know it is God's will for you do it.  Does emptying the dishwasher count?

The One Person Assignment

Continue with your one person assignment this week.  Let us not merely say the we love each other, let us show the truth by our actions. (1 John 3:18)

This coming week, look for a person who needs your kindness or patience.  That individual may be injured emotionally, spiritually, relationally, physically, or financially.  Who do you know that needs a "Good Samaritan" in their life right now?  What do you have to give?  Rather than passing by, reach out to the person this week and do a specific act of kindness.  "Your hand is God's hand for that person" (Proverbs 3:27 MSG) 

Day 8

Similar theme to yesterday.... I want to try harder.  Love as Jesus loves us.  I cannot achieve that kind of love.  The author says I have to trust in God, but what does it look like to trust in God in this area?  I think the first step is to recognize and admit that I cannot do it on my own.  I can never achieve the kind of love that Jesus commands on my own.  I have to ask God daily to intervene in my life and my relationships, and fully trust in His power to change my heart and words so that I can reveal His love in my daily interactions with people.

Day 7

When Rick Warren said in the video last week that you couldn't try harder when it came to loving others, I wanted to disagree with him.  In anything else I've wanted to improve, I've always been taught just to work at it and I can improve.  Its always worked for me in tennis, running, school work, etc.  Why can't it work with loving others?  If I just give loving for others a little extra attention, I can improve on it. Day 7 taught me that I can only improve a certain amount by my own effort.  If I want to love people the way God loves people, I have to spend time away from people like Jesus did getting to know God, both who he is and how he loves.  Until I love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, I cannot love people the way God desires.

 

When I first read about the one person assignment that we talked about in ABF on Sunday, I spent a lot of time thinking about what person I choose.  Day 7 made it clear.  Love like Jesus did.  He loved the people wherever he happened to be and whoever he came in contact with.  What a novel concept.  I guess a ought to love the customers at the jewelry store, as well as the employees, and maybe even the waitress at the restaurant, and just maybe my wife and kids.

Day 6: Love Everyone as Your Neighbor

Love everyone.  I am a Christian, don't I automatically love everyone?....Just about everyone.  Who are the Samaritans to you?  Great question posed by the author.  One I didn't want to slow down long enough to answer.  I forced myself to really think about it, though.  I come across certain people in my job that are hard to love.  They think they are better than me because of the amount of money they have, how beautiful they are, or how in style they are.  I treat them the way my job requires me to, but I don't love them with God's kind of love.  This is where Holladay's point was really hammered home for me.  I can't love those people in my own power.  God wants me to depend on Him for the power to love, which for me requires a daily dependence on his power.  A big challenge, "God help me want to love my Samaritans, and God I depend on You to daily change my heart and give me the strength to love out of Your power not my own."

Day 5 - Love God with all Your Mind and Strength

I have always had a tough time memorizing scripture.  I know it is important, but I've just never made it a spiritual discipline in my life like I should.  Day 5 made it crystal clear that if I want to Love God with all my mind I must start memorizing scripture.  I figure no better time than the present, so I tried while I was driving to pick up lunch for Emily at Chick-Fil-A to memorize Philippians 4:8, "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworhty, think about such things."  As I was trying to remember what came first "right" or "pure", I came to the stoplight at the intersection at Chick-Fil-A and a homeless man was standing there holding a sign.  I was in my own little world saying this scripture to myself while at the same time I could have reached out and touched the guy, he was that close to my car.  Then, I was reminded that while I was focusing on loving God with all my mind, there is also the love God with all my strength component.  If heart, soul, mind, and strength don't work together for some visible action, then my faith, is worthless.  We all have different feelings about the people that stand at those intersections with signs.  I have given them money occasionally, but most of the time I pretend they don't exist and go on about my "busy" day. Before my chance had passed, I rolled down the window, told him I was buying lunch at Chick-Fil-A, took his order, and in a very small way loved God with all my mind and strength for that moment today. 

Day Four - Love God with all your soul

The question that this day hammered home to me was: Am I seeking God passionately with my life?  Do you see the same passion from me in church worshipping God on Sunday that you see from me on Saturday at a Wake Forest football game?  Obviously, I don't love Wake more than God.  I want to pursue God passionately in all areas of my life and I hope my life reflects that.  "not my will, but yours be done" in all areas of my life.

Day 3 - Love with all your Heart

Love God with all your heart,  soul, mind, and strength.  How important do you think the word "all" is?  Could it be the difference between having a fruitful, meaningful life and not one?

 The author made it clearer to me what this love looked like when he defined heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Love God with all your emotions, will, thoughts, and actions, and that if real change is going to happen in my life, I have to love God in all four of those ways.

Today's focus was on loving God with all my heart/emotions/feelings.  I have a one hour drive this morning, so I am going to try to do the suggested steps for praying more emotionally.  I have them written on a note card to walk through on my drive:

1.  Talk to God about feelings.

2.  Talk to God about my weaknesses.

3.  Talk to God about His strengths.

4.  Tell God my fears.

5.  Pour out to God the desires of my heart.

6.  Openly and emotionally admit my sins to God.

7.  Say out loud what I know to be true.

The question, "Do I tell God what I feel or do I tell him what I think He wants to hear?" hit me right between the eyes.  Tell God how you feel today.  

Day Two - The Attraction of Lesser Things

This chapter had way too much in it for me to process.  Here is the prayer I wrote for myself coming out of it:

God, I want to love you and I want to love others, but its just not that easy.  I naturally gravitate towards loving myself, besides, my family, friends, and coworkers are sometimes really hard to love.  Tasks and to do lists are easier for me than relationships.  I also try to manage my life and fit everything in.  God, I cannot do it on my own, in my own power, I need your help.  I turn the management of my life over to you.  I surrender my "schedule" to you.  Make your priorities, my priorities.  Help me to quit settling for good choices with my time, but to make the best choices with my time.  I know my family is more important than "24", tennis, running, watching basketball on tv, help me show it.  God, help the important win out in my life over the urgent, the good, the easy, and from an eternal perspective the unimportant.  Amen.

Read day 2 and tell me what make an impact on you.

The One Person Assignment

Turn talk into action by reaching out to one person in a loving unselfish way this week.

Action for week one.

Think of someone you haven't shown love to recently- a friend, family member, colleague, etc.  In what way can you apply this week's lesson to that relationship?

Choose a practical action step and post your experiences here.

Day One - Nothing is more important than relationships

When I think about it, I know that nothing is more important than relationships.  I just don't always live that way.  I let "stuff" get in the way.  For me, sometimes its exercise, tv shows, sports, or even work.  In my life, choosing relationships over things is not one big decision I need to make, but a series of smaller, moment by moment choices I need to make throughout the day.  What do you think?  Are you acting like relationships are the most important thing in your life?  What about your relationship with God?